arrogant bastard

I slept poorly last night.  I  laid awake thinking, as always of things I need to get done, but it was equally blended last night with all the things I want to say to CK.  Mostly along the lines of how dare you even talk to me after how badly you made me feel; fuck you for making me feel so undervalued; how could you even just disappear like that with out even offering a lame excuse; and a little bit of I miss you which really makes me the angriest of all. Like I'm so mad at him for how he made me feel, but I'm even angrier at myself for letting myself be hurt like, for even know still wanting his attention enough that I'm hurt by the loss of it.

SNB upon seeing the comment from CK, said, "wow, that guy has BALLS."  If I was giving CK the benefit of the doubt I'd say he must have suffered a stroke or some severe memory loss to think it's okay to approach and address me casually.  Otherwise, he's clearly an arrogant bastard for even considering that he could off-handedly chat me up.  And the worst part really isn't how angry I already was, how hurt or anything, but how it makes my head bubble up with events and things from the past 7 or 8 weeks that I've been dying to talk to him about.  The entire situation from the beginning sucks.  I've barely cried over him at all and damn it, I don't want to start now.