3 posts tagged “yuck”

I am smart and fairly attractive.  I like to think I dress well.  I am, or can be, very friendly and outgoing, often quite flirty (with no intent, I can't flirt to save my life with people I'm actually interested in).  Because of this combination of traits (I guess) I often find a couple guys completely crushed out on me whom I would never ever date.  It's harmless, if a little sad, but sometimes utterly annoying.  Especially when they get a hold of my MySpace or something and start messaging me friendly little notes all day.  Ugh.  Like I'm fine talking to these guys at the bar when I'm working and they are hanging out.  I'm fine running into them out someplace and talking a bit.  But I am not going to date them ever.  They don't really want anything else from me, as much as they pretend we are just friends. They are still hoping  for more no matter how they try to spin it. This is a tiny group of guys, there are plenty of flirty, chatty guys I know, who I am not going to date, who I am just friends with.

I never know exactly what to do with these guys.  I mean, I try not to lead them on, not to let them think that I ever will go out with them.  But they are well intentioned and usually very nice guys, so I don't want to be cold, harsh or mean to them.  I just want them to stop annoying me.

I am aware that this is a stupid thing to complain about.  I mean, "Oh, woe, guys find me attractive and charming and want to talk to me, how tragic!" Yeah, I get it, just it feels a little invasive some times and I'm not sure how to balance it without being like, "Hey, you! Fuck off!"

Still no word form CK.  He can take his childish ass and fuck right off.  As my nearest and dearest said, he could have at least given me the coward's break up in text messages.  But no, not a peep.  So I did the only thing a girl like me can do, went right out and slept with someone else.

We didn't actually have sex (erm, depending on how you're defining sex), but we fooled around a lot.  We went for a drink, talked for forever, went back to his place, talked more, made out, I spent the night, and we fooled around more in the morning. Then he made coffee and breakfast in bed, and we laid around in our underwear and watched Repo Man. So overall, as far as dates go, pretty much excellent.

Not a thing though, just some guy I'm friends with and now, it would appear, friends with benefits.  That's cool though.

As far as break-ups go, I'm all over the place.  Like I have no closure, no idea if I did something, or he met someone else, or just decided I wasn't worthy or what.  Which I find pretty upsetting.  But since it was long distance, and he hasn't been calling much for weeks now, I'm not really feeling the loss in every day life.  Mostly I'm pretty practical and matter of fact about it.  I haven't cried much yet, but am still expecting a massive breakdown over the whole thing.  I can feel it bubbling up inside me.

Of course HB came out of the woodwork right as all this was going down (though as far as I know he had no idea it was going down) and he's been making an effort to hang out with me a lot and asked to work on a long term collaborative artistic project with him.  This is awesome, as we are just friends and I love hanging out with him.  However in the past week I have had the following conversation no less than five times:

well meaning close friend: "how's CK?"
me: *explains the jackassery*
wmcf: "oh sweetie, I'm sorry."
me: "it's okay, I'll be fine"
wmcf: "I don't understand why you aren't just dating HB anyway."
me: "..."

Seriously, it's like a conspiracy, except most the people I had this conversation with don't know each well enough to conspire about anything.  So, I am back to fantasizing about dating HB, but I think I'm best leaving it at that.  At least for now, until I get my equilibrium back.

HA!!  Okay, HB just called while I was typing this to see if I wanted to go "hang out"  When I told him I was sick, he prodded and poked, until I explained the coughing, the snot, the unshoweredness and the firm position on the couch in sweatpants.  "Ew, maybe I don't wanna see you," he replied.  "Naw, I still do, but you don't, so call me when you're better.  Maybe tomorrow or Thursday?"  *sigh* He really is such a good boy.  Even my mom loves him, she was talking all about him on the phone last night.  There's no escaping it. Clearly, she's conspiring with my friends.

Oh seriously, universe, if you were trying to teach me a lesson, I learned it, okay?

A while back I hooked up with this guy that comes into the restaurant a lot.  Indeed, he's one of my boss's good friends (also boss man needs a good nick name, hmmm) and has been coming there regularly since we opened. (You can see that this is going to end badly, can't you?) I've talked to the guy a bunch and he seemed smart, funny, pretty cute, gainfully employed, la la la la la la. So one night he drives me home as I'm a bit smashed.  UN totally tried to cock block me, which, you know, I should have listened to her, but I was drunk, belligerent and whatever. So I sleep with him.  It's, you know, okay, not great.  Whatever.

And then he just becomes not at all the guy I thought he was.  Now, remember, I see him a lot at work, but we don't hang out outside of that or anything.  So he leaves me his number.  I don't give him mine.  I don't call him.  It was a one time thing and I figure I'll see him around.  Again, whatever.  That should be it. Of course it isn't.  When I don't call him, he starts calling our mutual friends and asking for my number.  Including calling DD several times.  Presumably the friends all follow DD's lead a don't give him the number, so he thankfully doesn't call me.  However, he does get a hold of my email address and emails me 4 times in about 36 hours. Yikes.  I don't reply to any of the emails.  He disappears for a while, but turns out he was on tour and after a month or so he resurfaces.

I'm nice to him when I see him.  He's generally a nice guy, except the creepy stalkery part, and I was giving him a pass on that assuming he hadn't had sex with a hot girl in a while and forgot how to act or something.  I don't know.

So one night he's in the restaurant and we're bullshitting as I'm getting off work (purse and keys in hand, about to go out the door) and he leans in and whispers, "I sure had fun that night."  I'm like, yeah, great, gotta go!  Basically I brush it off and willfully forget about it.

Time passes, he's around and not as he tours.  I'm nice to him when I see him.  I assume that the end. Until last night when he comes in.  He's telling me how nice I look, how cute my dress is, what a pretty girl I am, blah blah blah.  And I guess I'm not reacting right (although I'm trying to be a polite as possible) as he says (not in a mean way) "Hey, I just wanted to pay you a compliment."  I thank him and mildly apologize saying I've never been very good at taking compliments (which is true). He goes off to talk my boss, his other friends, whatever.

Later it slows down a bit and I'm standing at the front, behind the hostess stand, texting UN (the text said, ironically, "please kill me") and right as I'm closing the phone this guy comes up behind me, puts his hands on my hips, startles the crap out of me and whispers in my ear, in the sleaziest way imaginable, "I wouldn't mind getting up under that skirt again."  Ew.  EW EW EW EW!

I mean really, when is ever okay to say something like to a girl unless perhaps she's your wife or live-in and you're half joking?  YUCK.  I realize it was my opening to say, "Sorry, dear, that was one time deal."  But I missed it, as I was too busy trying suppress a full body shudder (which UN later pointed out would also be a good way to put a guy off--shudder disgustedly when he talks to you). Instead, I didn't turn around, didn't say anything, waited to shudder and half-retch until he walked away.  And yeah, I know, I should have told him off in no uncertain terms and normally I would have, but he's one of my boss's oldest friends and I could possibly jeopardize my job, or at least my relationship with my beloved boss if I'm horrible to this guy.  It's shitty position to be in, but I got myself there, eh?

So, yes, universe, if you wanted to remind me that I should be very careful about who I hook up with, I get it, really get it.  Please no more hideous reminders.